Trusting

Trusting God isn't as easy for me as it should be.  It's scary to take a step when I can't see where my foot is going to land.  I have the right head knowledge of who God is and what He can do, and yet I still experience doubt and fear.  It's been a struggle this past week to see how God is going to provide for this trip.  I know that He can do it, but will He do it is the nagging question in the back of my mind.  My brain starts scheming and planning out exactly how it could happen, and what I could do to speed things along.  I slip into that old mindset of trying to figure everything out so there's no need to trust God.  Sadly, it's easier for me to trust my own head than to trust God.  If my head tells me that this step isn't logical because of A, B and C, then my natural reaction is to pull back and question God.

"Hey God, did you happen to think about A, B or C before you told me to step here?  Maybe you should explain your reasoning to me so that I can analyze the plan and decide if it's right for me.  Oh, and I'll give you a list of things I'm willing to do, and a timetable that works best with my schedule.  Thanks!"

Sounds silly to put it like that, but it's not far from reality if I'm honest.  Ouch.  If God asks me to follow Him, surely He has a plan.  Surely He knows how to navigate through the obstacles that arise.  Surely He knows exactly what I need, and surely He will provide for those needs.  It's not my place to analyze and evaluate the path He's laid out for me.  What I think He wants me to do instead, is look to His character and see that His faithfulness doesn't depend on my level of faith.  Whether I have doubts or not, He IS faithful.  He can't be anything other than that. 

Please pray that I'll be able to focus on Him, and not on my fears.  Pray that I will to learn to trust Him.

Proverbs 3

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
     and lean not on your own understanding;
 ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will direct your paths.